The girl is..I am Gwensarah..a girl, at times serious and silly.This is my journal filled with tales of hilarity, angst, or longing depending on my mood.
I do not pretend that my journals are deep, wise or even make sense..they are mine and for the purpose of giving me something to prod my memory in all those little details that can become lost..this is for Rymer who someday may wish to know me as an individual rather than simply "Mom".I am 29 years old. My birthday is March 15th, yes I'm a Pisces, no I don't act like one. I was born a month early and without eyelashes..they've grown and are thick and lush. My parents split up when I was three..both of my parents can give disfuntional a whole new meaning..I was sent away when I was twelve and am profoundly grateful for it. I graduated in 1991. I graduated college in 1994. I dropped out of grad school in 1995 to travel to shows. I'm deathly allergic to bees. I love music, books, adventure and hilarity. I wish I was taller. I have four cats, one is psychotic. I can't manage to have a fish that survives longer than a week. I once killed a chia-pet. I have a son, born October 4, 1998. His name is Rymer and he rocks. I broke up with his father who wound up being a lying cheating bastard when I was 6 months pregnant. He was a rebound relationship, shame shame. I was never in love with him. I've been single ever since. I now live in California and wish I did not. I have a best friend, we've been friends for 10 years..sometimes I wonder if we "stay together" out of habit heh. I am a MP3 addict who always winds up purchasing the CD. I am the queen of CD mailorder at Parasol and Shinkansen. I am the other half of the infamous Darcy Records who released one spectacular and legendary compilation then faded away quietly. I have great friends who are well known in the indiepop world despite the fact that I myself am rather obscure. I own the entire Sarah Records catalogue of releases. I once had a song written about me. I am vain about my hair, it's now really long but I've had it cut short and despite dying it either black or red since I was twelve is still fabulously shiny. I once scored 160 on an IQ test but cant seem to write a buisness letter. My favorite color is sometimes blue. Pure Charm is the name of a cheshire cat that lives in my car, he belonged to my first love, Aaron. Aaron woke up one morning convinced he had to have one and went to the Disney Store..PC was the only Cheshire Cat in the store. That faded creature has been a talisman ever since, I've been pulled over but never gotten a ticket for as long as it's sat in the back window. I'm in love with my car, it's a blue/green '93 VW Jetta..I'd put a new engine or trans in before I ever contemplated replacing it with some swank sleek car. I still sleep with a stuffed hippo. I am known to wear pajamas in public. I love Waterhouse and Rosetti. I am whimsical and still love wearing glitter, even if only to the grocery store. I also blow bubbles. I'm addicted to Pepsi yet have clear skin. I rarely wear make up. I am often awake at 2am..or 3am or when the damn sun is rising. I love the smell of freshly cut grass and coffee. I am a music and book snob. I am known to read four books at the same time without losing track of the plots. I own over one thousand books of various genres. My imagination is such that I can scare myself. I am fragile and insecure alot of the time. I cannot live without books, my CD collection, cigarettes and coffee. I quit smoking while was pregnant yet started up again soon after Rymer was born. I never make any pretense about wanting to quit either yet will abstain when around friends who abhor smoke. I have been to more funerals than weddings. I collect fire trucks in memory of my best friend Rymer who my son is named after. I vehemently adore going to raves and dressing like a glittery rainbow bright doll. I am pro-choice..people question this because I had my son but it could have gone the other way too..I made the right decision for me and respect a woman's right to make her own choices. I don't think I can get pregnant again nor do I want to. I am not a fan of organised religion but both Catholicism and Judaism fascinate me. I have had dreams of things before they occur.. I respect everyone's god even if I disagree. I am probably the only emogirl who isn't a vegan. I dream of falling in love. I am shamelessly addicted to reading other people's diaries online. Patrick says I am wonderful and Jeremy makes me believe I can write. I am frightfully prone to using ellipses and make no apology for it, if I ever publish that's what editors are for heh. I only like girly alcoholic beverages. I am probably on the verge of being an old maid. I've people I haven't spoken to in years yet still think about daily. Once I love I tend to love forever. I've never been into girls sexually but there are girls I find attractive, go figure. I like my sisters, one more than the other. I try to respect my parents, even if I think they have been bad parents. I love my nephew, cherish my friends and adore my son..