gwensarah and johanny
end of the affair
17:05 & 31 March 2004

Oh I am not "back" as in my usual daily updates, not because I don't constantly wish I was but because I'm still sans computer at the homestead. I gnash my teeth daily in the frustration of the creativity dam finally breaking and no means of outlet.

And all my lovely favourite diaries creeping into thoughts as I wash dishes, I do wonder about a girl in Oregon, another in Chicago, a boy in Scotland and a myriad of others and yet after missing months of woes and giggles I can imagine myself chained to a monitor if I ever can claim enough online time.

how am I? you ask..

Ahhh, a loaded question that.. I am fine actually, a great deal stronger than the Gwensarah who graced these pages months ago, not because of any walk through fire (well, unless you count that pesky wildfire a few months ago.) but because I've suddenly been struck by how much I enjoy myself (ummm..not that way).

I'm single again, albeit not exactly officially and this time it's me that is delivering walking papers..it's not tragic, it definately is not sad and to me it's actually amusing.

Oh I could litter this journal with enough trash talking to fill a gossip mag, I could go on and on about how he could easily have been the star of "My big, fat, obnoxious fiance". He's a hypocrate, a liar and bad in bed (when he does put out) and I deserve so much better so I decided to walk away before my mouth got the better of me and spilled out everything I think about him.

I'm not bitter in the slightest, there isnt any reason to be..I figure no relationship is better than a meaningless one.

Maybe there will be someone else, someone who appreciates good music, books and witty sarcasm and maybe there won't be..either way, I'm just fine.

Oh, and I'm 28 now..bleeaah.

Hmmm...one more thing, I'm not on hiatus or gone so don't be so hasty in taking me off your lists..unless of course you want to crush my fragile little ego heh.

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